• About
  • Artist’s Statement and Creative Bio
  • CURRENT OFFERINGS
  • GALLERY
  • Work with me individually (under revision)

Mysteries Unfolding with Cat Charissage

~ Making Meaning, Making Soul

Mysteries Unfolding with Cat Charissage

Monthly Archives: September 2016

Following the violet light from the wound

01 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by mysteriesunfolding in Uncategorized

≈ 6 Comments

Hello dear friend,

At this dark moon night, I’ve finished my painting and my writing to go with it, and wanted to share it with you.  Thank you so for witnessing me.  I feel your kind thoughts, and always appreciate your comments.

Much love,

Cat

20160814_170650

(c)2016, Cat Charissage.  Acrylic on canvas

Following the violet light from the wound

The topic wasn’t grabbing me.

I’d gathered with other women one afternoon to paint on the topic of “Fearlessness!”

Wasn’t grabbing me.

Then . . . I listened to the niggly thoughts and barely felt awareness

that had spread like miasma through my days:

“Maybe it doesn’t matter, any of it.

Maybe I really don’t have anything of real value to offer or teach.

Besides, why would anyone want to hear it anyway from an achy old woman  who never lived up to her potential to do anything important?”  

(Okay, okay, I know I’m not THAT old.  But it’s only a matter of time, you know . . .)

“Maybe there’s nothing to learn, nothing to offer from a life of low level unrelenting struggle — psychological woundings, vicarious trauma, chronic pain.”

Well, anytime fear comes round, I’ve found that shame isn’t too far behind.  

“After all, things must be  somebody’s fault, right?”  (Wrong, but. . . )

And it’s most convenient and least societally disruptive to blame myself;

“I’m courageous, I can take the truth,” says the martyr within.

In my life self-blame has been so effectively fueled by the underside of

empowerment strategies,

new age healing commandments, and

just enough societal privilege to make me think I’m in control of my life.  

Self-blame fueled by half-truths, quarter-truths, and outright lies.

By this time I didn’t want to paint anything.  

I didn’t want to do anything

except maybe get a Dairy Queen Blizzard

to freeze out this afternoon that wasn’t going anywhere fast.

I picked up the paintbrush anyway. (“Whatever. . . “)

I painted a portal through which something fearless could emerge.  (“Yeah, right.”)

Around the portal I painted my life, my specific conditions of existence.  

I painted my church, my family, suburbia — the quicksand that had almost drowned me.

I painted my searching for wisdom, my openings to a larger world,

my finding love and colleagues broken and complex in a broken and complex world.

I painted my second adult life, dis-ease and disease,

my circles, my art, my Golden Cup.

I painted space for surprises, too.  

Then two women emerged.  

One, me, wondering.

The other. . . I don’t know.

Just there; I’m not alone.

And the wound . . . broken heart broken open giving heart.

The woman wondered,

and listened,

and saw by the light from the wound.

Encouragement — to give heart

Freeing what can be freed

Soothing what can be healed, with truth.

Forsooth!

 

The methodology of making lemonade:

What can be added to the lemons, the always sour lemons,

to bring refreshment,

and joy,

to quench thirst?

Oh, we are so thirsty!

What sweetness is needed?

Beauty, kindness, truth, compassion.

What if?

What if what’s already been done, what is now being done,

is enough, is plenty?

What if THIS changes lives:

beauty, kindness, truth, compassion?

Beauty, kindness, truth, compassion.

What if

THIS

is fearless?

Advertisement

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • First New Moon in 2023; Chinese New Year: Starting with Silence and Beauty
  • Year-end thoughts
  • Sending Out My Book to Publishers!
  • “Mission Statement” and “Strategic Plan”
  • Can we talk about Overwealmth?

Archives

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • September 2022
  • August 2022
  • July 2022
  • June 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • February 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • November 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • August 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011

Categories

  • Uncategorized

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Mysteries Unfolding with Cat Charissage
    • Join 60 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Mysteries Unfolding with Cat Charissage
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...