Dear Friends,

At this new moon, today is a grey sky, there are ugly remnants of snow and ice left from last week’s blizzard, and it’s the middle of November, the cruelest of months. We’ve got about 3 years of Canadian winter to look forward to until green leaves appear again. Thank the heavens for paints and books!

The painting was intended for my innards, and for the world. I painted it just after the election was (tentatively?) over in the U.S. The canvas is one gifted to me by another artist who had painted over it twice. I then painted over it in heavy body paints, several coats, to add to the texture. I liked the feeling that my intention was being placed on a canvas with lots of experience, lots of things it has already gone through. Kind of like me.

The gold sweeps from the woman’s hair up and then around the chaos, and then up and around the cosmic egg. Movement, blessing, creativity. I tried to get that in the photo of it, but my present skills just couldn’t pick it up. The crescent moon will be just like in the painting in a few more days. Looking forward to MORE than just 3 years of winter!

From intention:

To details:

Feel free to borrow the sentiment, if needed. Much love and blessing to each of you. Thank you for being in my friendship group; thank you for your support.

Cat

Happy New Moon dear friends,

About a week ago, I was chatting (on Messenger) with some friends who were sharing some Facebook posts that were claiming some wild facts that were very seductive. I could feel the provocation intended, the desire to know if those facts were true, the yearning that they were pointing to a conclusion that I would dearly love. In other words, I felt myself get sucked in. I spent a couple of hours that day talking about it all, and my attention was totally rivetted.

Being that it’s the October before the November election in the U.S., there were many posts claiming all sorts of October surprises. I’m not a big FB person at all, but I couldn’t avoid it. The newspaper that I do read had its own pile of seductive “maybe” stories (maybe true, maybe not. . . ) Recognizing propaganda whether intended or not, I decided then and there that I did not want my attention hijacked with all the different attempts to manipulate my psyche. I’m now on day 6 of a 101 day media fast and, instead, devotion to my inner depths. I allow myself to look at the headlines on the front page of the newspaper, and that’s it. Instead, I am focussing on depth and practices that will help me towards wisdom (hopefully). There really are only a certain number of hours in any day. This will take me into mid January. And by then I hope I will have discerned exactly how much of the chaos and frenzy I want to allow in.

I used to think it was my moral duty to be as well informed as I could reasonably be, so as to make responsible decisions about not only voting, but choosing which issues I would expend my energy and resources on. I haven’t shifted on that, I’ve just given up the idea that FB and most media available to people will tell me the truth. Oh, some may sincerely try to, and some media is definitely more accurate than other ones, but I’ve come to believe that the only truth I can be assured of in a news item is that somebody, somewhere, wants me to think that something happened somewhere, at sometime. And that the more frenzied the reporting, the more I wonder what’s going on that the frenzy is distracting me from.

I’m learning more and more to focus on what is within my reach. Who are the people and the issues around me that I might actually be able to help, to influence in good ways? I try to pay attention to the truths I see right around me, and leverage my energy into real help and action rather than anxiety and argument about issues I cannot personally influence whatsoever —- such as an election in another country. There are so many what-if’s; I’ll wait until the dozens of what if’s manifest into something I can personally do something about. I already have a handful of issues I deeply care about, and keep myself informed about them through actual people and organizations I know, and contribute when I can.

I believe deeply in freedom of thought, and we can’t have that freedom if the noises of (dare I say?) brainwashing are screaming all around us. I’m walking away from it, as much as I can. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find out who won the election even if I never read a newspaper again. (I swore off of TV news long ago, refusing to participate in “if it bleeds, it leads”. Seeing the effects of war, neglect, and cruelty assaulted my nervous system, and I want to remain able to act and speak, not silenced by vicarious traumatization and the craziness of a video of terrified children followed by a commercial for dancing batteries or ring around the collar laundry soap.)

We all need to assess how much “news” (gossip?) we need in our lives. At least consider whether limiting your intake to perhaps one report a day might be enough. Consider exchanging doomscrolling for a little silence —- and find out what you really believe, what kind of world you’re ready to work for.

The energy of the New Moon helps us to develop new habits. Just saying. . .

With much love and many blessings,

Cat

Dear Friends,

Happy first New Moon of fall! After a frenzy of work, I needed some down time, and increased pain, especially in my rotator cuffs and shoulders, led me to some rest and pondering. Good idea —– except I tried to do it at home, in the midst of daily life happening all around me. Well, I guess you can imagine how all that went! I had hoped to be the little me, surrounded by gold shimmer in the painting above finding some deep truths, represented by the large woman under the earth. Alas, I am just the little me looking and looking, not able to dig deep. At least I’m still surrounded by gold!

In other news I’m applying to this intriguing course from Bayo Akomolafe, “We Will Dance with Mountains: Let Us Make Sanctuary” https://course.bayoakomolafe.net/, and the application itself has these questions: “Tell us about some of your ancestors and teachers. Feel free to include ones outside of your bloodline and species.” “Tell us the tiniest bit about the histories that are being lived through you and the land.” “Please write a brief Statement of Intention, expressing your hopes for your participation, your personal goals, and why taking this course is important to you.” “Please share 3 questions that are alive for you and why these question matter to you.” “What communities are you a part of? Here, we think of communities as a group of beings you are in ongoing relationship with.” I admit I love it when even the application for a course starts me thinking new thoughts!

And finally, I am preparing for my Story Circles. The Poetry Story Circle is filled, but there is room in the second one. For your information:

“Regarding my own Offerings, I’m going to be offering two Story Circles on zoom. They are once a month (Sept. through June), 2.5 hour zoom gatherings on Wednesday evenings. I’ll step into zooming slowly, while also continuing to keep on with writing my book. My main mission in life is to assist others in the exploration of life’s Depth Dimensions and to self-expression in the service of self-sovereignty, healing, and intentional creation (of a poem, of a organisation, of an idea that changes the world).

“The first, “A Poet’s Words”, is close to full already. It’s the continuation of a group that’s been going on for 3 or 4 years. There might be a space or two that opens up, though, so again, if you’re interested, let me know. “A Poet’s Words” is a chance to help the rest of us learn to love the poetry that you love. At each meeting, one of us in the group presents a sampling of poetry, usually by one author but sometimes the poems are chosen according to a particular theme such as “poems of authenticity”, or “poems of encouragement written by women”. Whoever is the presenter gets to choose the theme. We have time for about 10 – 15 poems. The presenter also prepares 3-4 writing or simple art prompts, the goal of which is to help the rest of us move more deeply into the poetry presented, laying our own lives alongside the message of the poet. So the evening goes back and forth between reading poetry and responding to the prompts, sharing our writing or simple art responses, and discussing the poetry presented. This group has proved to be a positive, joyful, and supportive exploration into new (to us) poetry plus deep insights both into ourselves and into our fellow (soror?) members of the group. This group meets on the second Wednesdays of the month, starting Sept. 9 from 7 – 9:30 p.m. Cost: $150/10 sessions. If that is prohibitive for you I am open to barter or other ideas.

“The other group, “Bad Poetry and Mediocre Art: Why you should try some!” is a low-pressure, fun and explorative circle for poetry writing and simple art making. I call it “Bad Poetry and Mediocre Art” because unless you are a very experienced poet or artist (and perhaps they, too) those of us who want to try self-expression in these mediums often find that there’s a gap between our aspirations and our results, between our good taste and what turns up on the page. (see Ira Glass on the Creative Process https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2wLP0izeJE&t=28s) Many of us become discouraged and quit. I want to create an environment where we are given full permission to produce the worst writing and art in the universe, but to encourage our efforts with the same humor and compassion as we would encourage our young children in their efforts. We have to try and try again to develop the skills to produce work that matches our aspirations, and we are helped tremendously by a space where we’re comfortable and encouraged to pick up the pen or the colors again and again. And what do you know? You’ll most probably end up producing quite pleasing and quite meaningful work, worth saving and building upon. This is open to beginners as well as more experienced artists who might want to try a new direction. I will facilitate each meeting, introducing prompts and instructions/suggestions for writing or using the art mediums of watercolor, collage, and blind-contour drawing. You will have the choice each meeting to respond to the prompts as you want, with pen and words, or colors and images. You will be invited to share whatever you produce with the rest of the group in a supportive environment. Limited to 8 participants. The last Wednesdays of the month starting Sept. 30, 7- 9:30 p.m. Cost: $200/10 sessions. If that is prohibitive for you I am open to barter or other ideas.”

That’s it, dear friends! A little advice: if you need a retreat, schedule one somewhere away from home! 🙂

With much love and many blessings,

Cat

Hello Dear Friends,

The New Moon of the 3rd moon of summer has come. We’re starting to make the transition from the heat of the summer into shorter days and thoughts of school. I’ve already gotten my back to school special: 10 packs of loose-leaf notebook paper at 35 cents a pack, plus a pile of 10 cent spiral notebooks, hopefully to last me and my writer son until the next year’s sales.

Regarding my own Offerings, I’m going to be offering two Story Circles on zoom. They are once a month (Sept. through June), 2.5 hour zoom gatherings on Wednesday evenings. I’ll step into zooming slowly, while also continuing to keep on with writing my book. My main mission in life is to assist others in the exploration of life’s Depth Dimensions and to self-expression in the service of self-sovereignty, healing, and intentional creation (of a poem, of a organisation, of an idea that changes the world).

Now that I’ll be using zoom, I welcome any of my friends outside of the Lethbridge area to join me. I still will be limiting each group to 8 members, the better to make meaningful connections in. Registration isn’t open yet, but if you think you might be interested in joining, please send me your email address so that I include you in my email announcing when you can sign up. Email me at catcharissage(at)gmail(dot)com. You can also respond to this post on FB to let me know. That letter will go out in a week or two.

The first, “A Poet’s Words”, is close to full already. It’s the continuation of a group that’s been going on for 3 or 4 years. There might be a space or two that opens up, though, so again, if you’re interested, let me know. “A Poet’s Words” is a chance to help the rest of us learn to love the poetry that you love. At each meeting, one of us in the group presents a sampling of poetry, usually by one author but sometimes the poems are chosen according to a particular theme such as “poems of authenticity”, or “poems of encouragement written by women”. Whoever is the presenter gets to choose the theme. We have time for about 10 – 15 poems. The presenter also prepares 3-4 writing or simple art prompts, the goal of which is to help the rest of us move more deeply into the poetry presented, laying our own lives alongside the message of the poet. So the evening goes back and forth between reading poetry and responding to the prompts, sharing our writing or simple art responses, and discussing the poetry presented. This group has proved to be a positive, joyful, and supportive exploration into new (to us) poetry plus deep insights both into ourselves and into our fellow (soror?) members of the group. This group meets on the second Wednesdays of the month, starting Sept. 9 from 7 – 9:30 p.m. Cost: $150/10 sessions. If that is prohibitive for you I am open to barter or other ideas.

The other group, “Bad Poetry and Mediocre Art: Why you should try some!” is a low-pressure, fun and explorative circle for poetry writing and simple art making. I call it “Bad Poetry and Mediocre Art” because unless you are a very experienced poet or artist (and perhaps they, too) those of us who want to try self-expression in these mediums often find that there’s a gap between our aspirations and our results, between our good taste and what turns up on the page. (see Ira Glass on the Creative Process: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbC4gqZGPSY) Many of us become discouraged and quit. I want to create an environment where we are given full permission to produce the worst writing and art in the universe, but to encourage our efforts with the same humor and compassion as we would encourage our young children in their efforts. We have to try and try again to develop the skills to produce work that matches our aspirations, and we are helped tremendously by a space where we’re comfortable and encouraged to pick up the pen or the colors again and again. And what do you know? You’ll most probably end up producing quite pleasing and quite meaningful work, worth saving and building upon. This is open to beginners as well as more experienced artists who might want to try a new direction. I will facilitate each meeting, introducing prompts and instructions/suggestions for writing or using the art mediums of watercolor, collage, and blind-contour drawing. You will have the choice each meeting to respond to the prompts as you want, with pen and words, or colors and images. You will be invited to share whatever you produce with the rest of the group in a supportive environment. Limited to 8 participants. The last Wednesdays of the month starting Sept. 30, 7- 9:30 p.m. Cost: $200/10 sessions. If that is prohibitive for you I am open to barter or other ideas.

Speaking of new directions, the image I’ve included is in a new direction for me: abstracts! I’m not fully pleased with my work (so far), but it is a lot of fun to give myself permission to play and to experiment. This one I will at least keep!

With much love and many blessings to each of you,

Cat

Hello dear friends,

At around noon today we moved into the New Moon. My journal for this Lunar Month is filled with orange papers with a side of yellow for this probably hottest month of 2020. 2020 — the year we won’t forget! For me, there are two aspects of the Social Distancing mandate of Covid 19 that have messed with my groove: both trainings that I would have had with Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes in June and October have been cancelled, and the ubiquitous presence of the video conferencing app “zoom”. Considering how others have been seriously inconvenienced or harmed with the whole coronavirus, though, my family has been very fortunate.

I’m in the process, at this New Moon, of thinking of my Fall/Winter offerings and how to make them happen. Since it is unclear whether or not we’ll be able to freely socialize by September, I’ve been wondering whether I should postpone, or not offer my Story Circles at all, or. . . .. (drum roll, please) deliver them over zoom?!?!?

As most of you know, I love working in small groups. By small, I mean between 4 and 9 people, sitting around my big table in my small studio, writing and sharing in person. With that small number of women, there are all the advantages of getting feedback from others yet still being able to create an intimate, respectful circle where we can share deeply. It’s as close to a “safe community” as humans are able to create, and the results are beautiful and powerful.

I’ve loved the in-person “vibe”. As facilitator, I can watch body language, where people’s eyes are moving, whether someone is upset or uncomfortable, and intervene or shape the next prompts to help all the members feel included and comfortable enough to share whatever has come up for them. My groups have often become smaller as the winter has gotten darker, colder, and more icy, or the seasonal illnesses kept people from attending in fear of passing the viruses along.

So shall I move the Story Circles to zoom? I’d like your thoughts on whether you’ve been able to create or partcipate in Sacred Circles online. How much intimacy is lost? Is it possible to bond and grow with others, online? Personally, I see how much I would miss by not being in physical proximity, and am hesitant to move it all online. Thoughts? Ideas? What might be the best number of participants? Or should I keep the number from 4 to 9 persons? (That’s my idea for now.)

I appreciate your input. You can respond here on my blog or on Facebook, or privately by email: catcharissage(at)gmail(dot)com.

As a quick preview, I’m thinking of 3 different Story Circles this year, each once a month (on a Wednesday evening) from September through June, 10 months. One topic will be “Telling Truths: Writing Free Style Poetry and Poetic Prose”. Two others will be “Dream Wanderings: Wondering about the Stories We Tell Ourselves” and “Making Meaning, Making Soul: Depth Dimension Practices for Knowing Self and Soul.” Responses will be either in prompted writing or simple art processes. (For those in the ongoing Poetry Circle, we will continue on as well.)

Thank you for whatever feedback you have for me.

Much love and many blessings,

Cat

Dear Friends,

What a month!! Happy New Moon (yesterday), Happy Solstice! And don’t forget the eclipse, and National Indigenous Peoples Week! The pandemic still burns among us and so do the streets in many cities in the U.S. The question I ask myself over and over, as I see ever more possibilities for action to bring in a better world, is “What is MINE to do? Now, at this time of my life, here in my city, here in my aching body?”

At the beginning of most lunar months, I not only start a new journal, but create both a mandala and an affirmation for something that I want to grow as the moon itself is waxing. At the Full Moon of most months, I create a different affirmation, for letting go of whatever needs to be dropped as the moon wanes. This month I put into visual form how I’m experiencing my life: there is so much abundance, starting with the colors of green exploding all around me, to the pictures and memes on my FB and other internet feeds, to the posts of so many dear friends attempting to support justice for all peoples in this time where we must remind others that Black Lives Matter; Indigenous Lives Matter. Yes.

And, it’s easy to despair. I remember 1968, growing up in Chicago, living through this the first time (at least in MY lifetime). The television brought me the race riots not even 5 miles away from my home, police brutality at the Democratic National Convention not even 30 miles away, the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy, and of Rev. Martin Luther King. Twelve years old, I wondered what life would be like in 50 years, if I would even be alive.

There is plenty to do. In just about any direction, go forth and work for the better. There’s all kinds of ways to make change, and let’s not waste a second in thinking that any one way is the only way.

And I ask myself again, at this time, with the aching body I have, “What is mine to do?” In the mandala above, the center is where I stand at my most effective. All around me are all the other worthy tasks, projects, activities I could become involved in. And outside of that circle are all the other interesting things I’m pulled toward as I wish for 48 hour days. Abundance is a kind of wealth; but too many choices overwhelm, and I suffer from overwealmth. The arrowhead is my reminder to focus. And so I do.

Now, over to you: What is YOURS to do, to have, to be?

Much love and many blessings to you,

Cat

P.S.: The following poem is one of my responses to this past month, to this current world:

TO THE OLD GUARD, or ANTI-RACISM ACTION 202
Cat Charissage, June 2020

Do not mistake my silence today for agreement.
Do not assume I’m in your camp, you self-satisfied snool, 
you, who still benefits, 
whose whole family, for generations,
has still benefited from other people’s 
blood, sweat, and death. . . , death. . . , death.

I am watching. I am thinking. 
I am planning, I am plotting.
I am teaching, both underground and in the streets.

We are strategizing. We are listening.
We are gathering our supplies.
We are gathering our allies, and all our resources.

You’ll probably never even know what hit you.

You’ll soon be outdated, 
gotten around, replaced
when no one listens to your speeches anymore,
when no one asks you for your opinions anymore,
and no one tolerates your antiquated hatred
anymore. . . , anymore. . . , anymore.

You will die sometime, you know.
Prepare to meet thy Maker,
and atone for all thy sins.

Meanwhile. . .  
I hear our new world a’coming.
Get out of the way!

Today I responded to someone having a really hard time, what she described as a dark night of the soul. Now me, I unfortunately know about dark nights of the soul! That doesn’t translate, though, into being someone who can help someone else in the midst of one — yet, we do what we can.

I’m including my response here in case it may help someone else in these weird, scary, explosive times:

“I, too, have had this kind of dark night. Very difficult. I was taught a concept by the nuns of the Catholic schools I attended, a concept I threw out for many years, but have since found a truth in that is sustaining: when you are in the midst of suffering, “offer it up” for others who are also suffering, in the truth/hope that our sustaining ourselves in the midst of great pain can be of help and a strength for others, some way, some how. To me, when I suffer, “offering it up” is a prayer that Greater will use all things for eventual good, and a reminder that I am not alone. It helps me have great compassion for others suffering, helps me to keep hanging on without becoming bitter (or bitchy), inspires me to search for all kinds of ways to reduce suffering, both for myself and for others, and gives me strength to implement those ways in any tiny way that I can. It provides a door for the way through, even if the way is so much longer than you think you can bear.”

When I was taught this in grade school, over 55 years ago now, the full phrase was “offer it up for the poor souls in purgatory”, and was surrounded with much sentimental piety that just doesn’t work for me anymore (if it ever did. . . ). Yet, the first part of the phrase has never left me, and I think it says something important about solidarity with others, and committing to change, to using whatever power we possess to lessen suffering. It’s also a commitment to never forget what it feels like to suffer so much, so that whenever we can, we help not from pity, but from an experiential basis of solidarity. From and for “us”, rather than “for you poor people who are hurting”.

Much love to all of us.

Last night there was a protest against police violence, held in Denver. It turned ugly, frightening, and violent. My teacher, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, and her family were there, and she wrote a bit about it as a comment on her blog. I include it here, as it is sane wisdom in these times. Last year on her website, she spoke about how at any kind of peaceful protest, there will come people who are specifically there to incite violence, one of the reasons being to give the peaceful protesters a bad name. At that time, she said that anytime we join a public gathering, march, or protest, to be sure to carry with us water and a protein bar or two, a fully-charged phone, enough money to get home in a hurry by taxi or however, and phone numbers for emergency, including your lawyer. Shit happens. She also told us that if violence occurs, run in the opposite direction from the disturbance. We can do far more for good if we are alive and healthy. Don’t let the sensationalism and excitement serve to rob our power to make positive change.

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes Dear Brave Souls

I’ll be back after /if i can get 8 hours of rest.

Tonight was a sad frightening night as during a peaceful protest here in Denver regarding the clear murder of the gentle giant George Floyd in Minneapolis by one police officer while three other officers watched and did nothing…

where i live as things began to get out of hand, shots were fired by a protester, and people began to riot. A man drove his car into the crowd hitting one pedestrian and then all manner of matters erupted.

There are many parts to what happened. And it is a terrible opportunity to put into practice what we have been studying here: Being Light and Being Love here, and referencing MLK’s teaching us about how to make progress in Justice sore needed in every part of our planet.

I will write a letter about what happened and what actions my family and I have and will take, including leaping over the wall of the overculture that keeps allowing atrocities to happen without Justice before , during or after.

I see the same and same everywhere: It’s not just the injustice. Its the wanton blockades to gaining the attention of those who can say yes to one’s demands for decency, truths and just outcomes.

I see it in India, I see it in Quebec. I see it in the Ozarks, in Appalachia, on the Reservations, on the Reserves, in the Borderlands, at the Boundary waters. I see it in Ivory Coast, in Mali, I see it in Queensland, I see it in Hawaii. I see it in Borneo. In Central and South America in every nation, in Mexico, in the Everywhere

It is time my dear Sons and Daughters of The Light and of Love, for us to be on the move again toward our seed blessing/ planting, as we have already begun. Holding hands, carrying our lighted lanterns up and across snow wind mountain.

Let us see about Planting
Two new seeds:
one for our consensual reality:
Justice.
And one in the other world:
Justice.

Let us see
what we can see
that we have not seen before.

Let us hear
what we can hear
that we have not heard before.

Let us Love
what we have not
Loved before.

Let us Light
what we have not |
Lit before.

Let us do
what we have not yet
done before.

Think on these things
mis queridos, my beloveds,
with precision not rancor,
with blessing ways, not bitterness,
with vision, not vindictiveness.

Remember, self-purify,
for hatred has never been
the cure for hatred,
though oddly enough
Fierce love is often
the remedio for no Love…
A Just heart
is the remedio
For an unjust mind.

I love you with all my heart.
Please rest: tomorrow is a new day
Not yet written upon.

Dr.e

Dr. Estes posted this as a comment in a much longer post that was not about this subject. It can all be found at https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10157493137173635&id=29996683634&comment_id=10157496026488635&notif_id=1590740991270109&notif_t=feed_comment_reply

Greetings to you, my friends, on this New Moon in May, 2020!

I’m feeling a shift in the air, in my world, in my psyche. After a week of non-stop rain, the sun is shining, and maybe I’ll believe Spring is here to stay. My city is opening up, slowly and carefully, after the Covid 19 shut-down. Personally, I’ll wait another week or two to see how it goes, but at least I can drop off the library books we’ve had sitting here in the house for 2 1/2 months. Inwardly, I feel a very strong shift: I’ve finished a painting, first time in months, I’ve cleared up a lot of clutter in my study, I’ve finished reading a pile of articles I’d saved because I’d really, really wanted to read them (then never gotten around to it!), and am ready to start another project. As many of you know, I’ve started writing on the book I’ve been wanting to do, and I’ve now enough notes and more than 25 pages or so —- not enough to feel confident that I really will finish it, but confident enough to think that finishing it is not just possible, but probable. I’ve decided to devote my moribund Instagram account to post my progress on the book, and will get that up and running in the next few days. Please join me over there for progress reports, short excerpts, and . . . . more paintings! My plan (remember that having plans does not mean they’ll be implemented as envisioned, but at least plans give God something to laugh about!) is to continue to post on or near the New Moon here on my blog, and about once a week or so over on Instagram. This is a big step for me: it’s setting up an accountability system to keep me writing, AND it’s doing so in a public way, on the social media which I am extremely ambivalent about (that is, the time-sucking abysses of FB and IG). Plus learning curve, which means even more time on social media. . . . Wish me well, please.

In addition, those of you who follow Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ blog on Facebook, know that she has been posting, since just before Easter, a series of missives from her journey up the mountain and her Holy Saturday vigil there. She has committed to 40 days’ writing of what she discovered in that vigil, and now, about 1/2 way through, she has encouraged us to prepare for a personal ceremony to take back our birthright of gifts of the Holy Spirit that we were born with. I have what she has suggested we gather, a few sprigs of a favorite plant (in my case, white sage), soil, water, and the summary of many (many!) writing exercises she’s offered in the last weeks. So, this ceremony will be a new beginning of sorts, as well.

In the last 10 weeks of staying at home, I’ve realized that though I sorely miss seeing my friends and having d&r’s with them (deep and real conversations) and zoom is NOT my new best friend, I actually feel physically better staying home. I must not underestimate the stress and toll on my body of running around. People have talked about how much free time they’ve had, and had challenges in using the time well. For me, I have felt as busy as ever, though not stressed in the busy-ness: never underestimate the time it takes to nurture family relationships in challenging historical times, and never underestimate the time it takes to care for a body in chronic pain (uh, that’s me!).

I don’t yet have a poem to accompany this painting, but the inspiration for the painting came from an experience of the oneness of all that is, a sense of the huge light and love that incorporates everything, and that invites us to be aware of it and to participate in it (or something like that —- those experiences are very hard to put into words). The painting is 20 in. by 20 in., and the circle is highly, highly texturized:

I started by writing my intention on the back of the blank canvas. Then, I intuitively painted the canvas with a mix of colors. Once I began to have an image of what I wanted to paint, I started with this:

Then I intensified the color:

And knew the center circle of wholeness needed to be much bigger:

And bigger:

I colored the blue to be more cerulian, sky-colored, and then added the double rainbow. Dr. Estes’ journey to the mountain started with her seeing a double rainbow, and rainbows have been very meaningful to me at crossroads times in my life. They’re beautiful and hopeful.

I knew the circle needed something but needed to think on that a lot. I remembered constructed images of what the sun might look like up close, with millions of nuclear explosions happening at once, one after another, a roiling, moving, almost alive ball of gasses transforming. But how to get that feeling? I used a thin layer of modeling paste, applying it in a spiral. After many layers of paint, yellow, gold, iridescent pearl, more yellow, glitter (love glitter!! Though it doesn’t show in the photos, the painting just sparkles!). More gold, moving outward, showing the ways forward, the ways that cross. . .

Much love and many blessings to you,

Cat

Happy New Moon, my dear friends,

I thought I’d share with you today a few of the poems that I have come across in the past month or so describing or musing upon this time, The Great Pause. Please take care of yourselves in the most exquisite way possible. Do not waste your energy and emotions in “what if’s?” and endless news watching. In a time when it is very difficult to really know what’s really going on, remember that your day to day experience is a result of what you place your attention on. Place your attention on whatever beauty is here, now, in a wonderful spring just beginning to bloom. Place your attention on the so many who are performing intentional acts of kindness and responsibility (our health care and essential workers), and all the random acts of kindness. Yes, take appropriate caution, make appropriate plans, but not in every moment of every day! No one ever died from turning away from Facebook and all the news outlets. 🙂

Much love and blessing to you my dear ones,

Cat

Pandemic
What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.
 
And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.
 
Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.
 
–Lynn Ungar 3/11/20

Lockdown
Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But,
They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other
across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know
is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood
So that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome
and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic
The birds are singing again
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by Love.
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able
to touch across the empty square,
Sing.
 
- Fr. Richard Hendrick, OFM
March 13th 2020

The world became stilted with fear and uncertainty
What was happening; what was true?
Form a distant land, a warning, but we scarcely paid attention
and then before our minds had comprehended,
the enemy had made its way into our country,
our safe and trusted haven.
This stealthy virus that no one could predict
or explain, lingered on those most unlucky
and most innocent.
Then made its way to all the others who had
hugged and touched these growing few,
until there were not few, but many, in every corner
of the world.
Somehow the world seemed to shrink, we were
not sure if we should hide or run,
we became paranoid and suspicious,
and the country drew apart.
Fear was rampant and we became secluded
and reclusive;  it was the only way
they told us.
Surely some wise and blessed soul
or souls would find an answer and we
would all go back to our places
in a very different world.
     ----- Carol Scott

Praise Song for the Pandemic
 
Praise be the nurses and doctors, 
every medical staff bent over flesh to offer care, 
for lives saved and lives lost, 
for showing up either way,
 
Praise for the farmers, tilling soil, 
planting seeds so food can grow, 
an act of hope if ever there was,
 
Praise be the janitors and garbage collectors, 
the grocery store clerks, and the truck drivers 
barreling through long quiet nights,
 
Give thanks for bus drivers, delivery persons, 
postal workers, and all those keeping an eye on water, 
gas, and electricity,
 
Blessings on our leaders, making hard choices 
for the common good, offering words of assurance,
 
Celebrate the scientists, working away 
to understand the thing that plagues us, 
to find an antidote, all the medicine makers, 
praise be the journalists keeping us informed,
 
Praise be the teachers, finding new ways 
to educate children from afar, and 
blessings on parents holding it together for them,
 
Blessed are the elderly and those with weakened 
immune systems, all those who worry for their 
health, praise for those who stay at home to protect them,
 
Blessed are the domestic violence victims, 
on lock down with abusers, the homeless and refugees,
Praise for the poets and artists, the singers and storytellers, 
all those who nourish with words and sound and color,
 
Blessed are the ministers and therapists of every kind, 
bringing words of comfort,
 
Blessed are the ones whose jobs are lost, 
who have no savings, who feel 
fear of the unknown gnawing,
 
Blessed are those in grief, especially who mourn alone, 
blessed are those who have passed into the Great Night,
 
Praise for police and firefighters, paramedics, 
and all who work to keep us safe, praise for all the 
workers and caregivers of every kind,
 
Praise for the sound of notifications, messages from friends 
reaching across the distance, 
give thanks for laughter and kindness,
 
Praise be our four-footed companions, 
with no forethought or anxiety, 
responding only in love,
 
Praise for the seas and rivers, 
forests and stones who teach us to endure,
 
Give thanks for your ancestors, 
for the wars and plagues they endured and survived, 
their resilience is in your bones, your blood,
 
Blessed is the water that flows over our hands 
and the soap that helps keep them clean, 
each time a baptism,
 
Praise every moment of stillness and silence, 
so new voices can be heard, praise the chance at slowness,
 
Praise be the birds who continue to sing the sky 
awake each day, praise for the primrose poking 
yellow petals from dark earth, 
blessed is the air clearing overhead so one 
day we can breathe deeply again.
 
And when this has passed may we say that 
love spread more quickly than any virus ever could, 
may we say this was not just an ending 
but also a place to begin.
 
—-Christine Valters Paintner

*In a Dark Time*

Do not rush to make meaning.
When you smile and say what purpose
this all serves, you deny grief
a room inside you,
you turn from thousands who cross
into the Great Night alone,
from mourners aching to press
one last time against the warm
flesh of their beloved,
from the wailing that echoes
in the empty room.
When you proclaim who caused this,
I say pause, rest in the dark silence
first before you contort your words
to fill the hollowed out cave,
remember the soil will one day
receive you back too.
Sit where sense has vanished,
control has slipped away,
with futures unravelled,
where every drink tastes bitter
despite our thirst.
When you wish to give a name
to that which haunts us,
you refuse to sit
with the woman who walks
the hospital hallway, hears
the beeping stop again and again,
with the man perched on a bridge
over the rushing river.
Do not let your handful of light
sting the eyes of those
who have bathed in darkness.
---Christine Valters Paintner